IM DA BREAST

Feel kinda like shit today. Sinuses fucked up from the cats last night, got a soar throat now too. Still really drowsy for last nights nyquil. grape juice seems to be making me feel great. Not i wish my body wasnt completely drained. (no i dont have mono. had it when i was a kid.) (also i gave caitlin mono once, and all i got was a strep throat from it. that was like 2 years ago.) so yeah pretty sure im not immune to mono but i know i dont have it.

Im not able to be there every single time you want me to be. I can’t listen to everything you want to tell me. I cant respond to your million text messages a day. Clearly you havent moved on, clearly it’s making me want to distance myself from you. I dont want to but you are driving me up a fucking wall.

I appreciate any first with anyone, any first kiss, first hug, first anything. I like that shit, i dont do things because i dont feel anything for it. If i like you i will kiss you, if i feel anything for you i will hug you. I dont like when shit doesnt feel sentimental. sure that sounds gay but fuck it. Maybe it doesnt, but I just like having that first moment with someone. I can name off the certain moments with people i truely care about no problem. I dont like random hookups, random sex, considering ive had sex with one person (clearly i dont fuck randomly). Being with someone, caring about that someone is what I do best. Hence why i tweek about thinking about them, why i think about them, why i like hearing about them. It means more then the world to me. 

My brother is the most ungrateful little shit in the world. He wanted an Ipad, but honestly little expensive. The gift I asked for was a strech/ kind of expensive and i didnt get it. But, he gave me a shit load of money, and also my brother got a shit load of money. Now, hes doing his pissy little whining. Some one call the Waaaaaaambulance

Mainly because my computer hasnt turned on for about a week or two now. But, to restart my blogging.

-Todays events:

• Great waking up to a great group of people at matt schwantes’ apartment, from a amazing, crazy, mind boggling night. 
• Had to work.
• Went over to sarah’s place for a small xmas party which was fun seeing faces that i havent seen in awhile.
• party at amy lou’s house.
• Quality bonding time with stormie rae. =)
• Bobby peterson being pretty hammered.
• Helping out stromie rae and ashley, because every guy at that party was a creeper
• Dubstep was blaring all night and loved it.
• Witnessed my co-worker and best friend hardcore make out together.
• Was the dd.
• Drove wasted ashley home. (passed out in the back of my car, through up on herself. Yeah that drunk.)
• calling ashleys older brother considering she couldnt remember her own garage code. 
• Carrying ashley into her house to her brother so he could take care of her
• drove storm home
• cleaned puke ouut of my backseat. 
• This.

Time for bed.

All in all good day and night/ past 3, 4 nights of drinking heavily.

goodnight

drinking two 40’s of budlight. Gotta be classy.

My sister is completely hammered. After i  picked her up, every ten seconds she would thank me for picking her up. Before she even got in the car, she busted her ass by falling due to snow. Then when we got home, and i was letting her out. She fell yet again. Now she is yelling about the taco bell we got, and also she thinks the chick from always sunny is holding a taco bell cup. When it’s actually a subway cup.

FUck.

I really don’t know what I want in terms of girls or what not. (I’m not gay or coming out right now to clarify). 

I’m really not sure what I want as in relationship, I don’t know how I should really go about my next relationship. 

My main part of this whole confession: When I like a girl, I actually like her. If I hook up with someone it’s because I actually like them, not for some stupid hook up. I seem to rush myself into certain situations. Hasn’t been just one certain relationship, it’s been a good amount of them. Some relationships never formed into anything because I tend to smother the person. I just really wish I could let things go with the flow at times. I wish I could sit back and just let shit happen. 

I tend to do things people are crazy and, think something is wrong with me. People worry about my sleep habits. Most the time people worry because if i work at 4am i choose to stay up all night. People may think I’m stupid, or that not sleeping those few hours is unhealthy. Yes it’s probably bad for me at some point, but I know how my body works. I would preform better with a all-nighter under my belt, rather than sleeping two-three hours tops and be deaddd tired. I can nap the next day like im about to do now. But, sleep doesnt just come to me easily. I tend to drift into a shit tone of random thoughts before i go to sleep. Sometimes I also just get random bursts of energy when I finally get home from being out. The thoughts i can probably try to control or talk to someone, but whats the point. People are asleep at that time anyway, hence why I end up not sleeping till the next day. Also my sleep schedule is always fucked up. My works schedule tends to be a major factor in why i stay up late on the weekends. A. I get out of work late. B. I end up going out late. C. We stay out late, because we(whoever im with) are not tired yet. It just bugs me sometimes when people worry to much about that, I know my body. Yes the body and mind needs sleep but it can wait at times. I like to enjoy full nights of sleep, rather than tossing and turning. Which does tend to happen if i try to go to bed at a normal time. 

Merp.

1. #L#  ( the L is a nose.)

2. X_x. How i feel after that all nighter and 9 hour shift